Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on the snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle Autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds on circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.
~Ruth Weece~
I want to thank all of you for coming today to remember my Mom. She was such a beautiful person that touched so many lives in so many different ways. From the onset of her cancer no one suffered more than she did, but Dad came in a close second.
Throughout her life, my Mom had to endure one hardship after another, but she did it. And as you know she always came out in the ned with a smile on her face.
Growing up in Mexico couldn't have been muy facil (very easy) for her. The stories she shared about the times she would set out with a stick and a jar in search of some poor, unsuspecting creature that she would undoubtedly capture and bring back home would strike fear into the hearts of parents everywhere. She was single handedly raised by her Grandmother Alejandra, or "Aleja" as she liked to call her.
One story in particular, I remember Mom telling me, was about a time that she and her cousins were down at the riverbed playing. Somehow she had managed to cut her foot pretty badly, and one of her cousins, trying to help out no doubt, ran back to her home to get Aleja. Well instead of coming out to see what she could do for Mom, she came out with the *Chicote (usually a stick), yelling *"¡¿ Demontre de muchacha, que to dije?!" She had warned her not to be playing so *bronca. My Mom took off running into the desert with her bloody, mangled foot. I remember she said it looked like her toe was almost cut off, that was how bad it was. The funny thing is, every time my Mom would recount this story, it was with a laugh and a smile as if this were one of the best memories a person could have of their childhood.
But that was just my Mom, no matter what was happening in life, she chose to see the bright side of it all. Not all memories of her childhood were like this though, there were many times she would recount how she would go visit Dona Carlota at the taco stand watch as she (Dona Carlota) and Aleja would make tortillas, as Mom sat nearby drinking a pepsi.
She loved growing up in Mexico when everything was so simple. Unfortunately the rest of her life wouldn't be so carefree. She eventually made her way to the United States and again was faced with life decisions that would end up affecting her entire future, and that of her children.
She was a very strong woman, my Mom. While she came out of her early life here in the United States with some battle scars, she never, not once, let that slow her down.
As most of you know, my Mom was a survivor of domestic violence, and after a long hard struggle to get herself back on her feet, to become self sufficient, to be able to proudly say, *"This little Mexican did it all on her own, and is all the better for it!"
She was once faced with a decision that would change her life forever, but first she had to make sure it was the right decision. You see, there was this crazy guy who had left everything behind him so he could follow her, he probably would have traveled across the world if he had to, and he wanted to marry her. But first she wanted to make sure that her children would be safe and that even if it meant putting her own happiness on hold, she would do so for her kids. After some deliberation, she decided to marry this crazy gringo and see if he really had what it took to be worthy of her companionship.
You see, that was my Mom, even if it meant living a life of solitude amongst her kids she was willing to do so, to see us happy and healthy. There were times she would go without eating, go without new clothes, or even shoes in order to make sure that her children had everything they could possibly need. She was truly a selfless woman in all aspects of her life.
I remember when she told me she was going to be working for the Women's Shelter, how excited she was that she was going to be able to give back to the place we had called so many years before. There was no job better suited for her, and there was no person better suited to a cause. She left an indelible mark on every part of this community.
My Mom was quite a remarkable woman. Even when we moved onto other jobs, she was still helping victims out. She would drive them to court, take them shopping, help them fill out paperwork, even get them in touch with people in the community who would in turn help them get back on their feet, like someone had done for her. She was always available for anyone who needed her at any time of the day or night. All she had to offer was herself and that she did whole heartedly, and with a smile.
That contagious smile of hers! No matter what mood you were in, all it took was one look at her and you couldn't help yourself, you would find yourself smiling back. I asked her about that once, you see I couldn't fathom how any one person could be so continuously happy all the time - you know what she told me??? She said, *"Mija, the reason I am always smiling is because when I was very young I asked God that no matter what was going on in my life, and no matter where I was that he make me always happy, always." I believe that prayer was granted to her because no matter what she always had a smile ready. No matter what my Mom was going through she would always come out in the end smiling. Even when the cancer was trying to do its worst to her it couldn't break that spirit. Always smiling, always dancing, always joking, those are the memories of her that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
What made her so beautiful wasn't just her outer appearance; it was her personality shining through. I am grateful that she was my Mom, that somehow I was deemed worthy enough to be her daughter. Someone up there knew that we were going to need a strong woman to bring us through this life. Someone who could show us how to survive, and enjoy life for all it had to offer, and to embrace the good with the bad. We were the luck ones.
I want to end with one last poem I found:
This page was last revised on: March 16, 2010